| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Killing Me Softly--->Lauren Hill | ] |
Hey Everyone>>>Sorry i haven't writtin' in a very long time. not to good with commitments. so..well..speaking of being committed..maybe you should talk to my ex.boyfriend wyatt about that. Yep, he broke up with me on wednesday. It sucks so bad. i want to be with him...everytime i see him i just want him to hold me and tell me to forget about what happened. I care about him so much, and it hurts me bad to see that we aren't together. At school...it's so annoying...everyone comes up to me and is like "OMG WHAT HAPPENED! aw sweetie do you want me to talk to wyatt for you? want me to yell at him?" it's like what the fuck. and that will help..how???
So now i don't know what to do. My friends are telling me to find someone knew yet i don't want someone knew. I want to be with Wyatt. I want to be happy like i was. I want everyone to stay the fuck out of my life and i want wyatt's friends to fuck off. I'm so confused about everything. My sister said that if it was meant to be we will get back together...but fuck..i don't wanna wait forever. She also says that wyatt is an asshole..so who knows. lol.
Last night was fuckin' weird. After school me+jewlz went to Phil's house to get fucked up. So we got to phils and stayed there for like 15 minutes when Allen asked us to go to Paul's apartment. So i was like hmm..pauls kin'a cute..sure why not. lol. So me+jewlz left our backpacks (and i left my purse) at phils house. When we got to pauls like 10 minutes later the other 9 people that were at phils were at pauls. so we were just chilllllin'....smokin' like 10 bowls lol. And allen asked me+jewlz if we wanted to crash at his house. So i was like..sure...let me call the mom...and see if it's cool with her. since Julia is staying at my house and all. So i called my mom..and she bitched because the last time i stayed at allen's i got wasted and she knows. lol. So she said no so i was like alright jewlz we can only stay out 'til 10. SOOOOO!!! Off to the football game with jewlz, allen, phil, carl, paul, cody, eh and everyone else who was there. I definitely did not want to see Wyatt after he fucked me over....he hurt me bad. it sucks....BLAH! so we get to the game and jus' chill and have a good time..go to mcdonalds and shit....Fair Haven (my school) is losing REALLY bad..what a surprise! we suck haha. So i see wyatt like around the end of the 2nd quarter....and he waved...so i walked over and we just kin'a chatted....and everything was alright. I wasn't upset or anything...and we were just talking like friends. I asked him if he wanted to smoke and he said he was already blazed..and had to go home with the parents...so didn't want to be hell fried. Sooo---> i was like alright..and walked away. And then at some point later..like 3rd quarter....he came up to me and was all like...wanna sell me a bowl pack? and i was like sure why not. so we walked away from the football game over towards the dug-outs. so i gave him a BP and he gave me the money...and we just hung out. we were like just sittin' there talking and such. and he was like..seems like time to be headin' back eh? and i'm like..blah. 'cause i was too fried to move lol. he was like..guess not. so we just kept talkin' and shit..about why we broke up and what kind of relationship we have now. and i wanted to kiss him.....SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD! so then i was like fuck it let's go back..'cause there was like 5 min. left in the game. so we start walkin' back and there is this random mound of dirt in the middle of the baseball diamond. i was like...wtf! why is that there. and wyatt's like it's for king of the kill. so i was like...wanna go bitch? and he started runnin' up it and he got to the top and i was trying to get up and he kept pushin' me down lol so i grabbed his hands and pulled him down as i went up...and then when i was at the top he started walkin' away..i'm like...awww...poor baby.....sore loser eh! and he was like..no i beat you. so then we started like play fighting and i was in front of him walking backwards and we had our hands together like pushing against eachother and it was cute and i felt like we were back together.
****NOW****
i'm sitting at home at 9:56am upset as fuck because wyatt brought back so many feelings last night. all i want is to be with him..and to be happy like we were. this song fits my mood perfectly--->
"Strummin' my pain with his fingers...singin' my life with his words. Killing me softly with his song..killing me softly...with his song..telling my whole life...with his words...killing me...soooft..ly.....with his sooooooooooong" haha yeah..that's pretty much it
OH OH OH OH ! and i left my purse @ phils house and that has my fuckin' pipe in it so someone will probably take it. fuck that if someone does i'm makin' phil give me fuckin' money for it.
YEAHHHHHHHHH alright i'm out. I'm thinkin' i'm gonna hang out with either Nick..my friend from whiting...or tyler..damn that hottie from castleton...lol. Yeah...or just go to pauls and day-drink..and then pass out when he has to work @ 5. lol...talk to ya'll later...Peace.Love.Empathy.
.x.Alanna.x. | 
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